Porn is love you can see.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
