No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
