She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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