another moral hangover. fuck.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it was like eating out sand paper
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We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize