Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
