tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
