Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
