mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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