D3 body, D1 cock
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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