I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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