Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
