Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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