Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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