check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
