Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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