apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
