he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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