I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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