would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
