She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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