just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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