Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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