You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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