so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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