I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
