That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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