i always forget guys have bellybuttons
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
