someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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