I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
