People in love make me want to vomit
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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