True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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