bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
