Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
