My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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