Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I woke up under a house in Key West
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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