you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
