I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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