Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It looked like if robin williams had a vagina

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  (440): It looked like if robin williams had a vagina http://tfl.nu/jvnv
  Replies (5) Good night (671) Bad night (2844)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now

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  (608): it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now http://tfl.nu/jhc8
  Replies (14) Good night (2887) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth

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  (206): tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth http://tfl.nu/91m9
  Replies (16) Good night (1624) Bad night (3581)
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  (714): View more from California

  We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her

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  (714): We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her http://tfl.nu/ekrz
  Replies (72) Good night (2279) Bad night (11575)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.

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  (803): He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face. http://tfl.nu/7qv4
  Replies (21) Good night (1428) Bad night (5476)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested

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  (612): Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested http://tfl.nu/tmq3
  Replies (5) Good night (1796) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.

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  (908): At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well. http://tfl.nu/xx0y
  Replies (2) Good night (826) Bad night (1431)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?

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  (909): It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it? http://tfl.nu/yjug
  Replies (8) Good night (1993) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.

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  (972): Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit. http://tfl.nu/pnw4
  Replies (9) Good night (2171) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class

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  (336): just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class http://tfl.nu/i0x8
  Replies (6) Good night (612) Bad night (1579)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits

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  (217): I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits http://tfl.nu/cv3j
  Replies (18) Good night (1804) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.

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  (309): Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks. http://tfl.nu/tka4
  Replies (11) Good night (809) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (230): View more from

  Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.

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  (230): Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success. http://tfl.nu/u50l
  Replies (1) Good night (889) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?

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  (214): As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight? http://tfl.nu/olih
  Replies (4) Good night (855) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.

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  (406): Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild. http://tfl.nu/8j4i
  Replies (1) Good night (423) Bad night (542)

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