Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.

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  (303): The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period. http://tfl.nu/nrl7
  Replies (6) Good night (2141) Bad night (701)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.

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  (203): She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock. http://tfl.nu/zr1r
  Replies (15) Good night (3572) Bad night (898)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.

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  (480): Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that. http://tfl.nu/wbxh
  Replies (13) Good night (4709) Bad night (1042)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation

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  (507): How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation http://tfl.nu/mdo6
  Replies (29) Good night (1915) Bad night (6128)
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  (932): View more from

  The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change

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  (932): The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change http://tfl.nu/8ts2
  Replies (13) Good night (2237) Bad night (1215)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.

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  (316): Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all. http://tfl.nu/i7x5
  Replies (5) Good night (1177) Bad night (1214)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster

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  (908): Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster http://tfl.nu/yuhk
  Replies (4) Good night (528) Bad night (1407)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.

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  (406): I would watch the shit out of some full house right now. http://tfl.nu/5ksj
  Replies (6) Good night (2143) Bad night (633)
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  (+04): View more from

  Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.

  (1+04): View more from

  I hate Sailor Jerry.

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  (+04): Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles. (1+04): I hate Sailor Jerry. http://tfl.nu/k3xc
  Replies (11) Good night (2083) Bad night (1019)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever

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  (412): There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever http://tfl.nu/r55b
  Replies (9) Good night (1368) Bad night (593)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.

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  (970): Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack. http://tfl.nu/afhg
  Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (898)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do

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  (678): ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do http://tfl.nu/pgwu
  Replies (3) Good night (536) Bad night (1037)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.

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  (610): Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life. http://tfl.nu/zjcc
  Replies (5) Good night (1464) Bad night (473)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.

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  (630): I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo. http://tfl.nu/gaw2
  Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (424)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks

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  (204): Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks http://tfl.nu/u0ub
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (404)

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