Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

I want to stick my p in your. b.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Four minutes until I can fart!

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(425): View more from Washington

My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed

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(616): View more from Michigan

I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(207): View more from Maine

so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.

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(818): View more from California

remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

(702): View more from Nevada

Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!

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(416): View more from Toronto

The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.

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