Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.

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(571): View more from Virginia

you're bored at work aren't you?

(703): View more from Virginia

I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk

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(602): View more from Arizona

She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(615): View more from Tennessee

i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.

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(516): View more from New York

The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".

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(253): View more from Washington

These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.

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(207): View more from Maine

Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world

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