This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.