Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
farters have to be the big spoon...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
