Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
