HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
