Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
