you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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