I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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