I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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