he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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