so explain again why im purple
no
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
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