Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
