Do vagina's smell?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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