I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
