and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
