But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
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