I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
