PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
