oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
No more Irish car bombs ever.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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