Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
