I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
