dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
